Relief Society President

One of my worst fears ever!  I have always been afraid of this calling.  It calls for someone who is a lot braver than I am.  When the bishop asked me if I thought I could accept I just sat there and didn't know what to say.  It is the first time that I didn't accept right away and I had to go home and think about it for a few days.  I ended up at the temple one morning where I was hoping for a "stuper of thought" (Doctrine and Covenants 9:9) but instead the opposite happened.  I knew that this was right and that I would have to accept.  Later that day I sent a text to the bishop that just said "yes".  So here I am a week into it.  My first day on the job of coarse there was a funeral and the next day I was visiting a sister in the hospital.  It's hard to explain the feeling after being set apart when the sense of responsibility was all of a sudden on my shoulders.  It's not a bad feeling like I thought it would be.  I made the mistake about a month ago when I was feeling out of sorts.  For a long time I have had this feeling of being disconnected and even though I am trying to have the spirit in my life with scripture reading and prayer and serving in my callings, I just couldn't feel anything.  So the mistake I made, and I knew it when I did it, was asking Heavenly Father to give me a challenge or something to help me get back that feeling that I had been missing for so long.  I even thought when I did it that it might be something that would be hard and scary.  So here I am, Relief Society President.  I know it will be a challenge but I also know that it will be a blessing.  I am the type of person who likes sitting quiet in the back of the room.  I have never liked being in charge.  I feel like Moses or Enoch when they told the Lord, ....why me, I am slow of speech, and of a slow tongue, wherefore am I thy servant?.... I don't have a way with words.  When I bear my testimony I have all these thoughts that I want to share and then when I get up there the fear comes over me and I don't say half the things that were in my heart and when I sit down I think... why didn't I say that the way I wanted to.  I made a deal with the Lord that I would do this if he was there to help me.  I totally accepted on faith.  I know that it will push me way out of my comfort zone to do things that are beyond what I think I can do.  I know that my Heavenly Father knows me and my weaknesses. (Ether 12:27) I also know that he will be there to help me.  So here we go, on to a new chapter in my life.  I will do the best I can.  And I have to say.... I can already feel that feeling coming back.  http://lds.org/service/serving-in-the-church/relief-society?lang=eng