One of my worst fears ever! I have always been afraid of this calling. It calls for someone who is a lot braver than I am. When the bishop asked me if I thought I could accept I just sat there and didn't know what to say. It is the first time that I didn't accept right away and I had to go home and think about it for a few days. I ended up at the temple one morning where I was hoping for a "stuper of thought" (
Doctrine and Covenants 9:9) but instead the opposite happened. I knew that this was right and that I would have to accept. Later that day I sent a text to the bishop that just said "yes". So here I am a week into it. My first day on the job of coarse there was a funeral and the next day I was visiting a sister in the hospital. It's hard to explain the feeling after being set apart when the sense of responsibility was all of a sudden on my shoulders. It's not a bad feeling like I thought it would be. I made the mistake about a month ago when I was feeling out of sorts. For a long time I have had this feeling of being disconnected and even though I am trying to have the spirit in my life with scripture reading and prayer and serving in my callings, I just couldn't feel anything. So the mistake I made, and I knew it when I did it, was asking Heavenly Father to give me a challenge or something to help me get back that feeling that I had been missing for so long. I even thought when I did it that it might be something that would be hard and scary. So here I am, Relief Society President. I know it will be a challenge but I also know that it will be a blessing. I am the type of person who likes sitting quiet in the back of the room. I have never liked being in charge. I feel like Moses or Enoch when they told the Lord, ....why me, I am slow of speech, and of a slow tongue, wherefore am I thy servant?.... I don't have a way with words. When I bear my testimony I have all these thoughts that I want to share and then when I get up there the fear comes over me and I don't say half the things that were in my heart and when I sit down I think... why didn't I say that the way I wanted to. I made a deal with the Lord that I would do this if he was there to help me. I totally accepted on faith. I know that it will push me way out of my comfort zone to do things that are beyond what I think I can do. I know that my Heavenly Father knows me and my weaknesses. (
Ether 12:27) I also know that he will be there to help me. So here we go, on to a new chapter in my life. I will do the best I can. And I have to say.... I can already feel that feeling coming back.
http://lds.org/service/serving-in-the-church/relief-society?lang=eng
